I think it's been exactly a year since we've last posted. Not that anyone's actually reading this... besides the Tie in Za-Tie. I'm Za, by the way.
Hi Tie.
I don't know why I'm doing this. Probably because Tie will be surprised once she sees this in her email, or because I felt like starting a new blog but decided to inform everyone (meaning Tie) that I might.
I'm thinking about making a blog entirely about... Chocolate. And maybe Vanilla and Strawberry. And whatever nuts like Walnut and Potato Chip come along. (By the way, there's no food for orange-pom-pom guy. Wait! That'll be his name. :D)
Tie knows what I'm talking about. Don't you, Tie?
We'll talk about this later, most likely tomorrow during fourth period or lunch.
See you then.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Grooming (and yes, we have an actual title now)
Advice for Desperate Boys *special*
We decided to take some *special* time and make some tips about grooming, if you have been able to score a girl by using the previous advice entries we posted. If not, come back to this when you actually DO get a girl, and wait until we post again.
We decided to take some *special* time and make some tips about grooming, if you have been able to score a girl by using the previous advice entries we posted. If not, come back to this when you actually DO get a girl, and wait until we post again.
Okay, so you finally got a girl to go out with you (what did you put in her food?!).
But since you spent the last years with your mom, along with her toe fungus and oatmeal (you still don't know which is which), you have NO idea how to get ready! So from the deep hearts of us girls, here's how (just because were sick of you lookin' like losers!).
1) Pick a cool outfit, and DON'T wear what you wore that day. Yes I know its hard to believe she won't like the clothes you sweat in all day long :P
2) Shower (with soap) for 15 minutes or more. For most guys this can seem like a long time, so slowly with deep breaths repeat "Its for the girl, soap is my friend."
3) Blow dry your hair. It will make it FLUFFY WUFFY FULL! Sorry, we girls wuv your hair.:D
But since you spent the last years with your mom, along with her toe fungus and oatmeal (you still don't know which is which), you have NO idea how to get ready! So from the deep hearts of us girls, here's how (just because were sick of you lookin' like losers!).
1) Pick a cool outfit, and DON'T wear what you wore that day. Yes I know its hard to believe she won't like the clothes you sweat in all day long :P
2) Shower (with soap) for 15 minutes or more. For most guys this can seem like a long time, so slowly with deep breaths repeat "Its for the girl, soap is my friend."
3) Blow dry your hair. It will make it FLUFFY WUFFY FULL! Sorry, we girls wuv your hair.:D
4) USE DEODERANT!!!
Seriously, how much are you paying this girl?!
5) Shave the sheep dog off your face! Sorry it feels weird making out with dryer lint.
6) If your eyebrows have formed into one, remember: two are wwwaaaaaaaaaaaayyy better then one (and a hecka lot less hairier =p).
7) Have a teddy bear, roses, or candy ready. SUCK UP! :D
8) Last step, use breath spray, and by use we mean jug the whole bottle down!
*BONUS SUPER FUN!*
('cause we're that good!)
Date Smartz Blog Quiz
When you come to a puddle on a date with your girl, you...
A) say "Ladies first!"
B) throw your jacket across the puddle for your date to walk across and suck up the fact that it's brand new.
C) panic and grab the nearest person's jacket (which unfortunately happens to be your date's).
D) start drinking from the puddle.
We will countinue this when tree bark attacks wearing kahaki shorts! If you're new, check out our first post, "one day when we were bored". =3
Seriously, how much are you paying this girl?!
5) Shave the sheep dog off your face! Sorry it feels weird making out with dryer lint.
6) If your eyebrows have formed into one, remember: two are wwwaaaaaaaaaaaayyy better then one (and a hecka lot less hairier =p).
7) Have a teddy bear, roses, or candy ready. SUCK UP! :D
8) Last step, use breath spray, and by use we mean jug the whole bottle down!
*BONUS SUPER FUN!*
('cause we're that good!)
Date Smartz Blog Quiz
When you come to a puddle on a date with your girl, you...
A) say "Ladies first!"
B) throw your jacket across the puddle for your date to walk across and suck up the fact that it's brand new.
C) panic and grab the nearest person's jacket (which unfortunately happens to be your date's).
D) start drinking from the puddle.
We will countinue this when tree bark attacks wearing kahaki shorts! If you're new, check out our first post, "one day when we were bored". =3
Sunday, October 14, 2007
"you're a pompous, arrogant, bigoted ass with great hair"
Advice for Desperate Boys 4
19) Having great hair is an added bonus.
20) Don't always try to impress her. Let her kick your ass a few times.
21) Don't be too surprised if they ask about what kind of shampoo or conditioner you use (and if you think about it, it could either be an insult or a compliment, depending on the facial expression she's wearing).
22) Tell her she looks beautiful, even if she's butt ugly.
23) Only use cheesy pick-up lines when you want to get slapped.
24) If she says she's better than you, she's not cocky nor conceited... she's confident.
We were feeling special again. BT time!
*Bonus Tip*: Don't try to change yourself for a girl- they like you just the way you are. But if they try and change you, that's okay. (If she wants to cut your hair, LET HER.) It might be fun! I won't specify for who, though...
We shall update when Nelly visits his grandfather. If you're new, check out our first post, "one day when we were bored". =3
19) Having great hair is an added bonus.
20) Don't always try to impress her. Let her kick your ass a few times.
21) Don't be too surprised if they ask about what kind of shampoo or conditioner you use (and if you think about it, it could either be an insult or a compliment, depending on the facial expression she's wearing).
22) Tell her she looks beautiful, even if she's butt ugly.
23) Only use cheesy pick-up lines when you want to get slapped.
24) If she says she's better than you, she's not cocky nor conceited... she's confident.
We were feeling special again. BT time!
*Bonus Tip*: Don't try to change yourself for a girl- they like you just the way you are. But if they try and change you, that's okay. (If she wants to cut your hair, LET HER.) It might be fun! I won't specify for who, though...
We shall update when Nelly visits his grandfather. If you're new, check out our first post, "one day when we were bored". =3
Saturday, October 13, 2007
a week's worth of PMS
Advice for Desperate Boys 3
13) When writing a poem, never use the words "orange" and "silver". I'm sorry, but "orange" and "rock" just don't rhyme.
14) Keep your teddy hidden. Unless the teddy's for her. In other words, save your ego.
15) Don't be afraid of blood, you big sissy.
16) If she's been pissy lately, bring her a glass (or carton) of milk and a box of (swiss, if you can get it) chocolate. She's bound to love you, even if it's just for a few minutes.
17) If she's going through a depressing phase and starts crying on your shoulder, stop worrying about the stain on your new shirt and comfort her.
18) It's okay to cry. They like that.
Okay, since we were feeling a bit special today, we're handing out a bonus tip.
*Bonus Tip*: Never dis a girl about her smarts. Well, then again, you also shouldn't point out how ugly she is. But looks aren't everything, you know...
Good-bye, so long, blahblahblahblah, adiu! We will be updating in approximately... 241 days after my pet goldfish Charly died. If you're new, check out our first post, "one day when we were bored". =3
13) When writing a poem, never use the words "orange" and "silver". I'm sorry, but "orange" and "rock" just don't rhyme.
14) Keep your teddy hidden. Unless the teddy's for her. In other words, save your ego.
15) Don't be afraid of blood, you big sissy.
16) If she's been pissy lately, bring her a glass (or carton) of milk and a box of (swiss, if you can get it) chocolate. She's bound to love you, even if it's just for a few minutes.
17) If she's going through a depressing phase and starts crying on your shoulder, stop worrying about the stain on your new shirt and comfort her.
18) It's okay to cry. They like that.
Okay, since we were feeling a bit special today, we're handing out a bonus tip.
*Bonus Tip*: Never dis a girl about her smarts. Well, then again, you also shouldn't point out how ugly she is. But looks aren't everything, you know...
Good-bye, so long, blahblahblahblah, adiu! We will be updating in approximately... 241 days after my pet goldfish Charly died. If you're new, check out our first post, "one day when we were bored". =3
after watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Advice for Desperate Boys 2
7) DO NOT wear any tight clothing. You can, however, wear tight jeans if you have a cute ass. Never take your mom's advice seriously, not matter how cute she says your butt is.
8) The woman is always right. No questions asked.
9) We like it if you listen as if you care. DO NOT pretend to, though, 'cause a bad case scenario is bound to come up. ("...and I just wanted to hear your opinion on it." "What? Uh, I mean... yeah, totally agree with you." "You mean I should rob the bank? I just knew you'd understand...")
10) If she does or says something stupid, help her out and correct her, but not in a way that it would make her feel stupid.
11) How hard is it? Don't ruin the moment. Or shove your foot into your insensitive mouth.
12) I don't care what you've seen or heard on TV - never mention spoons or cloth. ("Do you like cloooooth?")
That's it for today. We'll be updating in approximately... -checks schedule- whenever we feel like it. Take these to heart... or laugh it off.
Random Ending Quote of the Post: No, we're straight. Just... merry. --Robin Hood and his Merry Men from Robin Hood: Men in Tights
7) DO NOT wear any tight clothing. You can, however, wear tight jeans if you have a cute ass. Never take your mom's advice seriously, not matter how cute she says your butt is.
8) The woman is always right. No questions asked.
9) We like it if you listen as if you care. DO NOT pretend to, though, 'cause a bad case scenario is bound to come up. ("...and I just wanted to hear your opinion on it." "What? Uh, I mean... yeah, totally agree with you." "You mean I should rob the bank? I just knew you'd understand...")
10) If she does or says something stupid, help her out and correct her, but not in a way that it would make her feel stupid.
11) How hard is it? Don't ruin the moment. Or shove your foot into your insensitive mouth.
12) I don't care what you've seen or heard on TV - never mention spoons or cloth. ("Do you like cloooooth?")
That's it for today. We'll be updating in approximately... -checks schedule- whenever we feel like it. Take these to heart... or laugh it off.
Random Ending Quote of the Post: No, we're straight. Just... merry. --Robin Hood and his Merry Men from Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Friday, October 12, 2007
what happened when we got bored one day
Advice for Desperate Boys 1
For starters, we would like to start off with the basics. We will say this very slowly.
So for those who are eating your corn actually get it.
Let's start with number one...
1) When a girl slaps you, they don't like you. I know it's hard to believe, but it's the sad truth. Now all together now... "It's a NO-NO"
2) Go slow with this, 'cause we're girls and only human, and you're... well...
3) If she asks you out, that means she LIKES you. -nods affirmatively-
4) Showing her your taxidermy collection is another NO-NO. She WON'T LIKE IT. Say that slowly 3 times.
5) Listen to a girl's advice. They're not trying to trick you... or are we?
6) Don't wait till the last minute when you're stressing out and wetting yourself to use this advice.
We will continue this in approximately in... a certain time. If you REALLY want to know when, check the title. Remember, repeat this slowly with deep breaths... but not too deep.
For starters, we would like to start off with the basics. We will say this very slowly.
So for those who are eating your corn actually get it.
Let's start with number one...
1) When a girl slaps you, they don't like you. I know it's hard to believe, but it's the sad truth. Now all together now... "It's a NO-NO"
2) Go slow with this, 'cause we're girls and only human, and you're... well...
3) If she asks you out, that means she LIKES you. -nods affirmatively-
4) Showing her your taxidermy collection is another NO-NO. She WON'T LIKE IT. Say that slowly 3 times.
5) Listen to a girl's advice. They're not trying to trick you... or are we?
6) Don't wait till the last minute when you're stressing out and wetting yourself to use this advice.
We will continue this in approximately in... a certain time. If you REALLY want to know when, check the title. Remember, repeat this slowly with deep breaths... but not too deep.
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